So the real you, that bigger, stronger person in you, that voice inside that says, " you are bigger than you know" you are stronger than you give yourself credit for" That voice is what drives me to do more than I "think" I can - This has never failed me, not once! So as my friend AJ says, BECAUSE I CAN!
This morning I forced myself to get up and leave at 7:00 a.m. for my meeting (not been to many since being sick) - So glad I did.
I needed some time to sit and be still and quiet and listen. I noticed I had a voicemail on the drive home,and played it back - who was this person?
Adrian, she said - she went on to ask how I was doing and said that she had been thinking of me and WOW! - She was the CNA at the nursing home I was in in June of 2009 with my badly broken femur. I don't remember much of that place, except that pain, oh the pain - even taking out the staples before I came home is a bad memory. Sitting in rehab trying to lift my leg? Oh, and then they had these funny little pedal things you put your feet in and me and my friends there, most of whom were 90 to 100, would attempt to pedal.
I could barely turn a revolution - I am so sorry, Adrian ,that I don't exactly remember you - I may if I saw your face. But I was there recouping a long time and on a lot of medication, so I remember not being able to get to the bathroom or take a shower. I remember friends of Bill coming and taking me in my wheelchair to the roof top for some fresh air and bring my dog to visit.
Thank you, Adrian, for calling, this is just what I needed today to remind me of how far I have come since that horrible breaking point in my life - I was battling many demons during that time, and my broken leg was one of the smaller demons. This is my gratitude list today, thank you for my life, my friends, my health, my coach, my support, my family - A friend in the room this morning even offered to bring a meeting to my house since I have been so sick . I need to rest more and I want to ride more - more and more! seems I am always wanting "MORE" of something in life! - Time to rest and say simply say thank you to the Universe for everything, all the good things and the seemingly bad things - Adrian and I had a long talk after I called her back. I can't believe she remembers me all these years later. She sent me an eamil and reminded me to say strong! Love to the nurses in our lives!
There is not much left of that broken woman those people met at Berkeley East nursing home. Nothing like a broken femur to bring you to your knees - I had to stop fighting anything and everything. It was time to make peace. Today, I am so grateful to be traveling the happy road of destiny with my brothers and sisters. I am so far from perfect, but one day at a time, I pray and hope that I can simply be an example of what prayer, Grace and gratitude can do to change your life. To do something for someone else, to get out of yourself for and reach out to someone who needs your help. As Doug reminds me all the time, "it's not about me" -
It's never about me! THANK GOD!! --
Because when I remember to give back what has been so freely given to me, this is where peace and happiness is found.
Okay, it's nap time -