Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Saying bye to Juan

Just about an hour or so ago, I found out that my dear friend, Maria, lost her brother and my friend, Juan, at age 51.  Last Saturday he suffered a heart attack while driving in West LA and hit a tree and died.  He was a fine example of a contagious smile and always had a kind word and a kind ear.  I will miss him dearly.

I spent the entire day in bed with the flu.  Watching the State of the Union.   So, this is not my normal ride-for-life post about a bike ride.   Though,  it  may seem sad, I needed to write about what I have learned from the death of friends and family.  How soon I forget that every moment is precious.   So easily said, I know, but as simple as, " be kind to each other" ---  I saw Juan a week ago Tuesday in a meeting, and from across the room, he smiled and I smiled back, and we gave each other the peace sign! That is my last memory of Juan, and one I will never forget and will treasure.   His sister, Maria, has saved my life over and over, and she has given me love, support, prayers and most importantly, Maria has shown me the tools for living.  Living my life, not really a day at a time, but often minutes at a time, and counting each breath in order to relax and find my personal gratitude deep in my soul. 

Learning of Juan's death today has made me sad and yet grateful.   I hope and pray if you are reading this post, that whoever you are, you take a minute and think of all you have in your life and, as Maria would say, "God is great.  God is always teaching me that it's not about me". 

So I want you all to know that I am more grateful than ever to be training with Louise Kobin for my ride for life at the Counting Coup on April 7th.  Juan was always making jokes about my bloody knees or bruises and he was really happy to see me training for this event!  We just don't know when something sudden may happen.   Thank you to all my heroes!  You know who you are!  Russell Moon, who is paralyzed from a biking accident and fighting for his life.  I saw a video today of his leg moving today!  Miracles do happen.  I hope to remind myself every day that "WORRY" is a waste of precious time.  I will try to not take life so seriously, and to remember that it is not about me.   It's really about being the best you can be as a human, whether a mother, sister, brother, friend, boss, or biking partner! 

My thoughts are just swarming with memories of Juan and his smile, it's really difficult.  I know he would want to be sure that we all  RIDE ON and keep taking that next right step.   What a mystery, life and death, to me anyway. 

Juan, I am going to make you proud on April 7th!  Wish you didn't have to leave us so soon.

Believe, please believe in yourself and be kind to others.  Remember that your smile and attitude can make a difference at any time of your day, and your gratitude and kindness just may change someone eles's day for the better.

Most people,  I hope, reading this know my story and of my fight with cancer twice.   I climb my mountain of hope on my bike and feel the power of life in my legs and the fresh air on my face and I think of how much I love my daughter and her babies, my sisters and brothers.  All the years of battling for my life with disease, most of my life this was my story, but I have been blessed to come out on the other side of those wars with each disease, every surgery, bone marrow transplant or chemo session, I have grown to be a stronger woman.  
Keep the rubber side down!
Cheryl

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