Saturday, August 22, 2015
August 22, 2009 - Six years Sober!
Six years ago today, I was too ill
to get out of bed, too ill to even make a phone call. My mother was on her
dying bed and I was too ill to travel. My femur was broken and I finally moved
up to crutches from the wheelchair. I was bleeding in all the wrong
places....Paralyzed with fear in every direction, my darkness was getting
darker, my hope was lost, and any Light I used to have I could not see even a
flare. I was hiding in my house with blinds shut from my daughter so she would
not see me. (this never worked BTW, she was always onto my game) And most of
you know she saved my life in 1997 by taking me to rehab and in 1998 by walking
out the door with her bags.
We all have
celebration dates, natal birthdays, remission from cancer, etc.
I have been
blessed with four: The day I was born (least important) Breast cancer last
chemo date; Multiple myeloma last chemo date; And last hangover date - (most
important) -
I heard a lady I
met in Paris in 2005 say, "I got sober the day before I died" - I
will never forget that, because that is my story, no doubt.
I don't keep this
a secret because I am not ashamed, and if you keep the fact that there is hope
too much of a secret, nobody will find hope, as I did. I was never able to be a
social drinker from the get go back in elementary school. The police were at my
house when I was 11 and got the neighborhood kids drunk. The officer that
arrested me when I was 18 for driving and drinking became my first husband.
(poor guy) My battles have been many, like all of us. We all have our demons.
The second time I went to jail was the day I found out I had breast cancer. Oh,
those were the good ole days.
My doctors always
told me that alcohol would kill me before the cancers, but stopping seemed
impossible. I tried and tried. It is a disease like no other, IMO, and yes,
somewhat embarrassing to exploit on FB. My oncologist told me once, as I was
about to share in front of many doctors at UCLA about surviving cancer, that I
needed to share my story with all the details, not just the cancer topics.
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