Yesterday I rode out of my garage at 6:15 a.m. and headed up Westridge to meet Derek and Doug for a long mountain bike ride. The heat came fast. We headed to the hub, trippet ranch, and paseo. We me a crazy guy at the Paseo bench who rode a huge heavy downhill bike there. I seriously struggled lifting the bike off the ground. I used to downhill and have had a bike like that. But my Giant was more like 35 to 40lbs - This bike felt like 60! Big travel and big pedal - Paseo is one of the toughest climbs around here.
We refueled at Trippet Ranch, but my water quickly turned to hot tea water and not drinkable. I decided I needed to head back down Paseo to PCH and not do the more grueling climb back the way we came. Thank goodness. It may have been too dangerous in that heat. Overall, my goal was not there, but I did get 32 miles and 4K feet - and in the heat, that is still some training. I need some more 50 mile endurance rides and longer climbing days. Skipped the LaGrange Piuma race. Good move, Cheryl - MTB was better training.
My darling River turns 2 today and we are having her party at the Moorepark zoo. I need to get ready and see if the 405 is going to reopen in time. She is so beautiful and I am so happy. River has the most loving parents and grandparents.
She is a lucky little girl. And, frankly, since I did not expect to see my own daughter turn 16, I sure never expected to see her daughter turn two.
I woke up this morning and first thing got on my knees and thanked God for another day! I am so happy not to have a hangover. I am happy I am not in the hospital on chemotherapy. I am happy I have hair. I am happy to have sore legs from riding bikes. I am happy to have friends and family. I am not sure why or how I lived through two very serious cancers, especially since my best thinking was to include a lot of alcohol with the chemo. Those were some lonely days. Me the chemo needle in my chest 24/7 with a battery attached to me- and a fifth of vodka. No friends. No hope. No "life" -
**What I thought was the end, was really just the beginning. So keep calm and keep confident and keep on being the best you can be, no matter what. Remember that everybody is likely going through their own rough times and good times. So just strive to treatment like you want to be treated.
I am still struggling with life on life's terms. I daily struggle with low self-esteem and not ever being "enough" - I have a new t-shirt, which appropriately says, "will you ever be satisfied?" And Paul sent me a great shirt that says, "pain is weakness leaving the body" - AWESOME -
Peace and blessings!
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